I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Nicole vs. Life
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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