I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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