Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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