I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
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when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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