we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize