Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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