my soul wont recognize me after tonight
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
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She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
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i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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