last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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