I CAN MOONWALK!
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize