Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
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Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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