this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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