We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
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i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
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Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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