Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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