u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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