oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
