I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize