clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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