This dress was meant to end up on your floor
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
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just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
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He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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