I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
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I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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