is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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