He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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