if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
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Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
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I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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