My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
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do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
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Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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