isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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