i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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