Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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