god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize