I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
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So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
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Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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