Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
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im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
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Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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