she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize