the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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