He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize