No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize