Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
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I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
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The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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