pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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