You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize