You made me cry and you don't even care
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
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That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
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All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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