okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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