Sry I called you an 8
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i now understand why vodka
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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