I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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