just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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