I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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