Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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