im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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