I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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