Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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