all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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