He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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