I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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