He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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