How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize